I can’t live without it, but yet when it disappoints, which it often does, it leaves me grieving.
Right now, I’m clinging to it. I saw a glimpse of what could be. Past realities tell me it won’t happen. Present realities make me doubt as well.
But, here’s the thing.
Lazarus was in the grave four days before Jesus came. Hope of his healing was buried with him. His family grieved. Jesus wept.
Jesus also died and was buried. He was in the grave for two days. Where was hope then?
Death was the reality in both of these stories. Until it wasn’t. The impossible happened and Lazarus was raised from the dead. Jesus was resurrected.
What the people in these stories didn’t know was that they were in a time of waiting. Hope had not disappeared. It was not displaced. Instead, the story had a twist they couldn’t see coming.
And that’s where I’m at. Should I be holding on to a hope of something that looks dead, but may have an ending that I cannot see? Is it wishful thinking or is it faith? Am I in a time of waiting like Mary and Martha and Jesus’ disciples? Do I keep on dreaming knowing I will continue to face disappointment and discouragement?
Yes. I have to. Hope is my lifeline. Without it, I think I would lie on the couch all day and not have strength to persevere. It is a gift God has given me, Given you.
In the midst of my current reality, I keep asking God for a fleece, like He gave Gideon. A sign I should keep hoping. And He has. Not through anything tangible, but though gentle reminders that He is the God of the impossible. He can move mountains. He can split the seas.
The words of singer Hannah Kerr in her song “Split the Sea" have inspired me.
Never thought I’d be where I am now
No way through and no way out
Oh, it’s hard, but I’m still holding on
Even here, nothing’s too far gone
Every promise that You’ve spoken
You are faithful every moment
And it may look impossible
But You’re the God of miracles
You have always made a way for me
You can still split the sea
With a word, the waves will separate
Who You were, You are, You’ll never change
Hearts would heal and mountains move
There is nothing that you cannot do
As I wait upon the shore
Lift my hands up to you, Lord
I still believe
I love this song because it speaks the very words I need to declare. I need to believe every promise that God has spoken IS FOR ME and not just everyone else.
Throughout the night the night before Easter Sunday, I woke up multiple times with this song playing in my head. Each and every time, these words were at the forefront of my mind.
Coincidence? I really don't think so. I believe God was giving me a fleece. Keep hoping Jen. Keep believing. It may look impossible, but I AM the God of miracles. I can split the sea for you.
So, I do. Or, at least I try. And when I get discouraged and feel like I'm drowning, I ask God to help me.
How about you? Are you hoping for something that seems impossible? Don't give up. He can split the seas for you.