When my kids became more independent in their homeschooling—and eventually left home—I assumed I needed to do what so many moms do next : Find a job outside the home to prove my worth and value to my family. After all, that is what responsible moms do when their kids grow up, is it not?
And yet… something in me resisted.
The Subtle Pressure to Conform
The pressure to find work outside the home came through subtle comments and expectations. No-one was in my face telling me I no longer had value, but I created that narrative through observing patterns of those around me, watching my fellow homeschooling moms move on and feeling the unspoken assumption that staying home only “counts” when children are there to justify it. I had already walked a different road once before. I chose homeschooling when it wasn’t widely accepted or understood. I’ve never taken care of my health the conventional way either. I’ve always walked my own path when something stirred deeply in my heart. So why did I suddenly doubt myself now?
Trying on Paths That Weren’t Mine
Inevitably, I succumbed to the pressure and I tried multiple part-time jobs. On paper, they made sense and played into some of my strengths. But something felt off, and I lacked joy in my journey. Maybe I needed to try these jobs to get where I am today. I don't really know their purpose, but what I do know is, those jobs were not my final destination.
The Narrow Path: Redefining Success and Worth
“Enter through the narrow gate…” (Matthew 7:13–14)
The narrow path isn’t usually the obvious one or most traveled, as the name suggests. It doesn’t come with applause from those around you, but it does come with peace. I began to realize that my struggle wasn’t about finding the right job—it was about releasing the need to prove my worth through outward measures of success. Somewhere along the way, I had absorbed the idea that my value is measured by my productivity and what I could contribute financially to our household. That is far from the truth and, and thankfully, I eventually got to the place where I debunked that lie and began to see my value has never been tied to the world’s definition of success. Instead, my value is rooted in faithfulness to JUST BE the person God called me to be.
Here are a few truths that have helped me find peace on the narrow road, not walking the road of conformity. I hope they will help you too:
- Your value rests in JUST BEING YOU, a child of God. As long as you are alive and breathing, you bring worth and value to the table.
- Your value is NOT tied to anything you do or accomplish. It's not found in a certain kind of job.
- Your success is NOT dependent on how much money you make or how many people you influence. (I need to remind myself of this one a lot!)
- Finding your path after the kids leave home can be a slow process-much grace is required as you navigate this new, unknown season.
- What lights you up and sparks joy are gifts from God and are meant to be honored.
I wish I could tell you these revelations came rather quickly, but they didn't. It’s taken years of undoing lies I allowed myself to believe and accept that I don’t need to prove my value. As a result, I found peace in a calling that aligned with who I am, what I value, and how I want to live in this season-not in conforming to how others expected me to live. My path honors my passion for holistic health, and the faith, family, and freedom I hold dearly. I’m building something meaningful and finding joy in the journey.
It’s my hope in sharing my story that I can help you find your peace on your path just a little bit sooner than I did. If you’re an empty nest mom feeling the pressure to “figure it out” or fit into a mold that doesn’t quite feel right—pause. Pray. Ask for wisdom and direction. What if your next chapter doesn’t require conforming? What if it invites you use your gifts to build something in a way you never even imagined? That’s what happened to me.
✨ If you’re open to taking the narrow path, I help empty nest moms rediscover their purpose and find community by building a wellness lifestyle and business. I’d love to walk that path with you. Let’s chat. Message me.
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